Part 2: Random Craps (some might be dirty =p)

An elephant shits half its weight in 2 days.
A mans penis is 3 times the length of his thumb.
Honeybees kill more people than snakes.
A woman would have finished reading this by now,
but a man would still be checking the size of his thumbs.

Little boy pulls down his pants, shows his dick, "you don't have one of this ha ha!"
Little girl lifts up her skirt, shows her yum yum, "no but with one of this I'll have many of those!"

Teacher asked her student, why is your cat in school today?
The student replied (crying), "I heard daddy tell mommy "im eatin that pussy when the kids leave!"

What did the left butt cheek say to the right butt cheek?
If we stick together we can stop this shit.

I'm bored. I think I will sit in my car on the side of the road with a hair dryer today. Point it at the cars going past and see how many people slow down!

Whoever says Paper beats Rock is an idiot. Next time I see someone say that I will throw a rock at them while they hold up a sheet of paper.

I just read a list of 'The 100 things To Do Before You Die'.
I'm pretty surprised 'yell for help' wasn't one of them...

I think the iPad really sounds like a fancy sanitary napkin!

Went to google to look for a job, they told me to keep searching.

U have 10 fish, 5 drown, 3 come back to life.
How many fish do you have? Stop counting smart one.
Fish cant Drown!

I tried changing my facebook pasword to penis but facebook says its too short...

Build a man a fire and he is warm for a day. Set him on fire and he is warm for life.

Which is scarier a lion or a pig?
The pig! The lion has to roar to scare, but the pig only has too sneeze and the whole world craps themselves!

Mystery of Mathematics:
More than 3000 years passed,
Millions of theorem derived,
Billions of formula derived,
But still.. X is unknown.

While XXX is well known!!!

All men are born millionaires, by their sperm count;
and the fact is..
Even these millions are spent on Women..

LIFE has no CTRL+Z.

Rape is not a crime..Its Surprise Sex..

What gets longer when pulled, fits between your boobs, inserts neatly into a hole and work best when jerked?
A SEAT BELT you PERVERT!!!

I have a friend who's facebook status says suiciding by standing on the edge of a cliff so i poked him.

Missed you today :). Time to get the crossbow fixed.

Just realized the "lol" symbol looks a like a drowning man. Bet he's not laughing out loud.

Is confused. Wait, maybe I'm not. No I am definately not sure I don't know if I'm not confused.